After my son’s birth in 2001, my wife and I joined a parents’
panel for first-time, expectant parents. A twenty-something,
stubbly-faced man stood and asked, “I like to go out and do
stuff with my friends. How do you do that sort of thing after,
you know, your baby is born.”

I smiled. “You don’t, but you’re so busy enjoying your new
family, you don’t miss it.”

I’m pretty sure someone had to help him back into his chair. He
had asked the question every guy in the room wanted to ask:
this whole fatherhood, cheering-from-the-back-seat thing, is
working for me, but the looming fact that a child is coming is
really freaking me out! It’s becoming R-E-A-L. This kid is going
to cost me time, sleep, single-friends-that-just-don’t-get-it, my
wife’s formerly-focused attention on ME, and tons of diaper
money!

Welcome, fellow fathers, to your first step on the journey to
kintropy.

Fatherhood and parenting are chaotic by nature. Both will keep
you busy to the exclusion of prior friendships, hobbies, personal
downtime, and aspects of good hygiene from time-to-time. After
the rush of well-wishers and prefab meals dies down, you will be
alone, holding your baby to your naked chest (good for babies &
both parents), sharing heartbeats... until she tries to feed,
realizing with a cough and gag that chest hair = fur-ball not food.

Yes, in having a baby, you have abandoned your past and
started climbing uphill toward an unpredictable future. In your
passion to start a family (or, just your passion, regardless of
intentions), you have purchased yourself

1. a new, full-time job,
2. a constant stream of errant parenting advice from onlookers,
3. the unconditional love of your child.

Guard and nurture the last with playtime, smiles, singing, and
guidance. Ignore the rest as best you can.